Sunday, February 13, 2011

Tinker to Evers to Chance to Cigar Bands

These are the saddest of possible words:
"Tinker to Evers to Chance."
Trio of bear cubs, and fleeter than birds,
Tinker and Evers and Chance.
Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble,
Making a Giant hit into a double –
Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble:
"Tinker to Evers to Chance."
~ by New York newspaper columnist Franklin Pierce Adams
  
After Joe Tinker's playing days were over, he did some scouting and managing, and worked for the Orlando Gulls of the Florida State League. With cigar smoking in vogue and Florida being a hotbed of cigar making, Tinker's name was used to market stogies. This is a genuine 2 1/2" ong gold, red, and black cigar band which reads "Joe Tinker Mild Cigar, Extra Quality" it is in EX-MT condition. Locating one of these gems fully intact could be a trick, as most wound up in the trash when the cigar was lit!  Source: AmericanMemorbilia.com

 
Cigar Bands as Art
 
 
And as Jewerly

~    ~    ~

The Betrothed
by Rudyard Kipling

Open the old cigar-box, get me a Cuba stout,
For things are running crossways, and Maggie and I are out.

We quarrelled about Havanas -- we fought o'er a good cheroot,

And I knew she is exacting, and she says I am a brute.

Open the old cigar-box -- let me consider a space;

In the soft blue veil of the vapour musing on Maggie's face.

Maggie is pretty to look at -- Maggie's a loving lass,

But the prettiest cheeks must wrinkle, the truest of loves must pass.

There's peace in a Larranaga, there's calm in a
Henry Clay;
But the best cigar in an hour is finished and thrown away --

Thrown away for another as perfect and ripe and brown --

But I could not throw away Maggie for fear o' the talk o' the town!

Maggie, my wife at fifty -- grey and dour and old --

With never another Maggie to purchase for love or gold!

And the light of Days that have Been the dark of the Days that Are,

And Love's torch stinking and stale, like the butt of a dead cigar --

The butt of a dead cigar you are bound to keep in your pocket --

With never a new one to light tho' it's charred and black to the socket!

Open the old cigar-box -- let me consider a while.

Here is a mild Manila -- there is a wifely smile.

Which is the better portion -- bondage bought with a ring,

Or a harem of dusky beauties, fifty tied in a string?

Counsellors cunning and silent -- comforters true and tried,

And never a one of the fifty to sneer at a rival bride?

Thought in the early morning, solace in time of woes,

Peace in the hush of the twilight, balm ere my eyelids close,

This will the fifty give me, asking nought in return,

With only a Suttee's passion -- to do their duty and burn.

This will the fifty give me. When they are spent and dead,

Five times other fifties shall be my servants instead.

The furrows of far-off Java, the isles of the Spanish Main,

When they hear my harem is empty will send me my brides again.

I will take no heed to their raiment, nor food for their mouths withal,

So long as the gulls are nesting, so long as the showers fall.

I will scent 'em with best vanilla, with tea will I temper their hides,

And the Moor and the Mormon shall envy who read of the tale of my brides.

For Maggie has written a letter to give me my choice between

The wee little whimpering Love and the great god Nick o' Teen.

And I have been servant of Love for barely a twelvemonth clear,

But I have been Priest of Cabanas a matter of seven year;

And the gloom of my bachelor days is flecked with the cheery light

Of stums that I burned to Friendship and Pleasure and Work and Fight.

And I turn my eyes to the future that Maggie and I must prove,

But the only light on the marshes is the Will-o'-the-Wisp of Love.

Will it see me safe through my journey or leave me bogged in the mire?

Since a puff of tobacco can cloud it, shall I follow the fitful fire?

Open the old cigar-box -- let me consider anew --

Old friends, and who is Maggie that I should abandon you?

A million surplus Maggies are willing to bear the yoke;

And a woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke.
Light me another
Cuba -- I hold to my first-sworn vows.
If Maggie will have no rival, I'll have no Maggie for Spouse!

~


7 comments:

  1. That is so great (says I as I suck on my nicotine lozenge). Thanks.

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  2. Thanks, you got me thinking "baseball" - it's almost here.

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  3. It's in the 50s here today! Another sign that baseball is around the corner.

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  4. ANNIE, DID YOU EVER SMOKE A PIPE?

    GRANNY

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  5. Well, Granny, I have smoked a lot of things: hams, turkeys, trout..... but never a pipe!

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  6. I have smoked a pipe. Once or twice. But I do enjoy a good cigar every so often. My hubs always buys 2 when he gets them. In Paris we only smoked Cubans, and they WERE wonderful! :)

    Have you smoked a pipe or cigar, Granny?

    Katie

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  7. A PIPE FOR FUN WHEN GRAMPS AND I WOULD GO TO THE LAKE TO WATERSKI AT FRIENDS HOUSE.THE LADY FRIEND HAD A PIPE AND TOLD ME TO GET ONE SO WE COULD FREAK EVERYONE OUT WHILE WE SAT IN THE BEACH YARD AND WAITED OUR TURN. SO I DID AND WE ACTED LIKE FOOLS JUST HAVING FUN. WE JUST LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED. IJUST GAVE THAT PIPE TO MY OLDEST KIDDO AS A HEIRLOOM IF YOU WANT TO CALL A PIPE AN HEIRLOOM. IT WAS FUN AT THE TIME. IT'LL GIVE MY GRANDKIDS SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT DOWN THE LINE. THANK GOD NONE OF THEM SMOKE. IN FACT NONE OF MY KIDS,HUSBAND GRAMPS OR MYSELF SMOKE. I DON'T ALLOW IT IN MY HOUSE. I CAN'T STAND THE SMELL.

    GRANNY

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